I thought today's post might be a helpful thing...so I will share. Please know that I by no means have this thing called "parenting" figured out...most of this stuff I feel like I stumble upon by chance and then I get surprised that it worked...take what you want from this.
It was a typical day in the life of a Hodges family member. Various forms of joy and angst were coming and going from any one of the 4 of us that are together most of the day (myself, Caroline, Wyatt and Hope). I found myself in a conversation with my oldest. I am sure it involved some request that I was making of her to tidy up...or put something away...or fill in the blank it really could have been anything. Our conversation turned from one of "hey this is our day this is what I need you to accomplish" to one of back and forth kind of arguing with her about what I wanted done, and her counter with what she wanted done...it truly turned into an arguing kind of debate back and forth.
Then I had this (not sure if you have ever felt like this) kind of "out of body" experience where you see and hear what's happening around you. You are able to be impartial, able to see what's happening almost feeling like it is all in slow motion too...it was weird. But as I watched myself arguing with a 5 year old I had this "What are you doing Allison, you are the parent." So here is what happened next...
All of a sudden I looked at Caroline realizing that I did NOT need to be arguing with her about ANYTHING. I am cool discussing a different way for things to happen or go...but to blatantly be told NO...isn't going to fly...so I calmly looked at Caroline and said these words, "I don't argue with children." The craziest thing happened. She stopped. She just plain stopped and then did what I had been asking all along. I couldn't believe it.
Since then I use this phrase often. I find myself being pulled into a negotiation with a 3 year old and I look at Wyatt and I will say, "I don't argue with children" and he too will stop and do what I have been asking or just stop the whine/arguing with me. Amazing.
I am the mom. I am the one the Lord has put in charge of the day to day running and I do not need to be arguing with anyone. That said...on a slightly humorous side I am not sure what my phrase says...does it say that I do argue with adults....? HA!
God has asked me to do my best. To parent with excellence, not perfection...and I believe that choosing not to argue with my children is a step in the correct way. I think it is a reminder to them that I am in charge, and they are not...and deep down that is a comfort to them.
So...today dear readers...tell them "I don't argue with children." It's amazing. Take back your rightful place as the parent.
*This pic from the "booster-thon" at Caroline's school.
