Moving on Up...or Over

There are those things that you tuck away in your heart.  There are those dreams that you talk about with your spouse.  There is life change that happens and families adjust.

I remember when we first got married people talked about those big life change things that happen and more than one in a year is quite a bit.  We're talking things like, birth-death-job change-moving...Well in the last 20 months the Hodges (or as close friends like to refer to us as the Hodgi) family will have accomplished all of those things.
1. Jason took a new job at Watermarke Church as SPD director - Jan 2011
2. Hope was born - our 3rd - April 2011
3. Miscarriage of our 4th child - April 2012
4. Moving over to Canton, GA - August 2012

That's right.  We are MOVING!  This has all come about so suddenly.  It was something we have dreamed about since he took the job over there.  He has a 45 min commute one way each day.  That makes for 7.5 HOURS a week he spends driving.  To a job he loves thankfully.  We have also talked about wanting to be a part of that community over there.  That if we are going to invest in this church...we needed to be a part of the community too....

As you know in this housing market that just isn't an easy thing.  So we were waiting...and waiting...and waiting.  We had decided we wouldn't even really discuss it anymore until next spring 2013 after the election, and Caroline's first year of school and see where we were.  I had talked with a few people about the notion of renting our home out since selling wasn't an option right now.  No one seemed interested.  That was fine.  But we had these friends who wanted to get up here...but we just weren't sure our home would be a fit.  But as Jason and I talked about maybe finding renters we kept saying..."Well, if they could be someone we would know...like the Jones'...then maybe we would consider renting."  But no one was wanting to.  But then about 4 weeks ago...the Jones' actually called and said "Hey what would you think about us renting your home...and we are selling our home at the end of August...."  AHHHHHH so many thoughts began running through our brain...what? how? now? But Caroline will have just begun Kindergarten...does this mean we should home school now?  But wait we felt such a peace about her going to public school...

So we took some deep breaths.  We prayed a bunch.  Had some very candid conversations.  Spoke with our financial dude...and lo and behold it is happening.  We found a home to rent.  The lease has been signed...and we are moving...NEXT WEEK!!!

When I was sharing with my parents about all of this I was so encouraged by my mom's perspective.   I might be surprised by the timing.  But you (my mom speaking) have been praying about moving since Jason took the job, 1.5 years ago...the Lord is not surprised by the timing -nor does He think it is fast.

So true.  Just when I feel overwhelmed by the pace of all of this...I am reminded that my Lord...the once I claim as Savior...The One whom I trust knows all of this and then some.  I refer to a talk I heard Dr. Charles Stanley given once at a conference at our church often and he said this.  "If the Lord is asking you to be obedient.  He has already assumed all of the responsibility of the consequences of your obedience."  Amen.  So us taking a step in faith and acting out of obedience to move our family means the Lord has assumed the responsibility of our obedience.  Thank you Lord.  Doesn't mean hardship won't ever come.  But it does mean my GOD has it all figured out.

So.  For some out of the Atlanta area you might be thinking but your still in "Atlanta" right.  Well, yes...but here it might as well be moving to another state.  It feels like a really big deal.  I have told Jason over and over that I am so thankful that I do life with him.  We are a good team.  We falter and fail one another yet still choose to do this life with each other despite our shortcomings.  So very thankful for him.

I wonder dear reader what perhaps the Lord might be asking you to be obedient about.  Take comfort in knowing he has the consequences of your obedience under his responsibility.  So take that step and go.  We are.

It's Coming...The Education

So a couple of weeks ago our family is out to Costco for our bi-monthly trip there...of course dining of the hot dog/pizza of choice for dinner.  We run into another friend.  We are chatting about life...school comes up.  She asks where Caroline will attend.  Then the discussion of when the first day of school is began.  I was SURE it was Monday Aug. 13.  She was SURE it was Thursday Aug. 9.  I was not prepared for what happened in my heart.  We looked it up...it's the 9th!

How did this happen?

How is it not correct in my calendar?  Four less days....

I know, I know...is this really a big deal?  For me...holy cow yes!  This is our official last full week of summer.  The last full week of life as we have known it.  The last full week of lunches.  I don't know why it gets me but the lunch thing is what puts a lump in my throat.  Will she be able to open _____?  Will she actually like the food I pack?  Will she, will she, will she....miss me?

There is a part of me that desperately hopes she will miss me.  Then there is that part of me as well that truly hopes she doesn't.  That as with other things in Caroline's life she would be looking ahead...see the challenge...be excited about what it holds and not look back.  I believe this is how she will be.  I am thankful for that.

Later that night Jason and I were folding laundry in our bedroom, the kids were already in bed...and I LOST it!  Holy cow sobbing ensued.  The loss of those 4 days hit me hard.  I began to grieve some things about her entering school world (whether it had been home school, private, or public this all would be true) is that I CAN NOT shelter her from what is to come.  I can not protect her heart for her. I can not keep kids from saying cruel things to her.  I can not ...

I am thankful that I do believe she knows her protector.  I think when she is afraid at school.  Or hurt in her heart that she will remember the simple prayer we have said with the kids since they were babies.  "Jesus help."  I pray even as I type this that He will help her remember that.  And when the hurtful words, and heart aches occur over the next several years in the growing up process that He will equip Jason and I with the right wisdom to help her, and she will say "Jesus help."

We have bought the tennis shoes.  We have bought the first day of school outfit.  We will buy school supplies this weekend.  The new lunch box from Grammy has arrived.  It's gonna happen isn't it?

She is going to fly out that car door.  She is going to leap into learning.  She is going to love it.  But what this momma realizes again...is that since the day she was born I have been learning to let go.  Learning that she did need to sleep somewhere other than my shoulder, and in our room as an infant...so we let her go.  I did need to attend worship without her...so to Waumba she went and we let her go.  She needed to learn to play at someone elses home with out me...so we let her go.  She needed to learn to swim without me...so we let her take off the floaties and go.  She needs to learn from someone other than me...so we are letting her go.

My sweet Caroline.  I can't wait to watch you grow and learn from ALL life has to offer you!  I am continuing to learn what it means to let you go.  Be patient with me.  I might cry...but hopefully not until I turn around and leave you at your Kindergarten room.  

Jesus help.

I am a sap.  Sorry for all the photos.