The Chief

A story of how a father loves a daughter...

I had grown up performing at an awesome outdoor theater called Shawnee Mission Theater in the Park. Four musicals would be put on each summer. We could have crowds of up to 3,000 on a big night. It was a great training ground for a young aspiring actor,singer, dancer.

The first show I did was "Annie", playing one of the orphans. My mom (Grace), my aunt (Miss Hannigan), and my grandfather (FDR) all did the show together. It was an Unruh extravaganza...I loved doing shows w/ my mom. In the beginning it was such a great parenting move. It allowed me to do the thing I wanted in a not so potentially safe environment w/ my mom still around. We later did "Anything Goes", "Big River", and "Fiddler on the Roof" together...loved it.

After awhile the theater realized what a great director my mom was and she was hired to begin directing...I still auditioned for shows. The first one I did w/o mom was "Bye Bye Birdie"...such a great time before I left for college. The summer after my freshman year I was cast as Maggie in "A Chorus Line". This was great on so many levels...but honestly I won't remember the rehearsals, dance steps, notes or dialogue as much as I will remember forever how my dad loved me.

One night in performance week I was backstage before the show getting ready, and the director came back and yelled in the dressing room "Maggie get out here." (Now side note, when we were at the theater he rarely called me Allison, always was calling us by our character names). I thought I was about to get notes...or I had done something wrong the previous night...he pulled me over to the edge of the backstage area and said stand here and look that way.

Excuse me...what?

Let me pause to share something about my character...each character has an opportunity to step forward in the show and have a monologue and song. I shared mine with 2 other characters. The song is called "At the Ballet". My particular character shared that her dad ran out on she and her mom when she came home from the hospital with the baby. So as she (Maggie) grew up she would imagine herself dancing around the living room with her arms stretched up high with her dad who was an Indian Chief. He would look at her and say "Maggie would you like to dance?"

So I am standing at the edge of the backstage looking toward this ridge row of trees...it is sunset...I see a figure in the trees. He begins to walk towards me. It is really a long way off. I am confused and the director just keeps telling me to stand there. What I don't realize that has happened behind me is that the entire cast and crew have gathered to watch. As the figure continues to walk toward me I realize that it is indeed an Indian Chief. And of course it is my dad....the introvert...the melancholy...I am crying...He is COMPLETE costume...make up, head dress...he rented it from a local costume company...he approaches me and says, "Maggie would you like to dance?"

We did.

Everyone around us is crying and can't believe this most beautiful moment.

My dad, even though very different in personality...got me...gets me...he took a risk of looking silly...to meet me where I was at. He blew me away. I danced with my dad for several minutes back stage and next to dancing with him at my wedding (which was another incredible moment you might have read on the blog) this is one of the most precious moments I have had with my dad.

What a great parenting moment. My dad loved me well that day.

From that day on any time I did a show I would get flowers from my dad for opening night that said something great but would always be signed from "The Chief"....

Go love on your kids. Get in their world and ask them to dance.

*wishing I had a digital version of this easily available...instead this will have to do.

Especially Easter

There are moments I want to impart a special set apart season in our family. It seems rather obvious to do Thanksgiving and Christmas...and I think there are also thoughts that Easter also ought to be made special...but I don't know how it ends up being almost an afterthought. I don't want it to be. I want this Holy Week that is upon us to be that...a Holy week.

I have mentioned in previous posts about traditions in the home. I read a book by Noel Piper called "Treasuring our Traditions" that has changed how I think about traditions. Basically, there are everyday traditions that we teach our children (like our quiet time with the Lord, family prayer etc), but there are also "especially traditions" those things that should be set apart (like birthdays, holidays etc). Well...Easter is no different. This book has some great ideas...some for when our kids are older...and I think they can grasp the true somber tone of what this week represents...and then the ultimate JOY of Easter morning...our Savior Risen! But, for little ones...to contemplate a whole Lent season might be more than they can do. She also mentions that doing the "little kid" version is only appropriate as long as they take it seriously. As soon as it becomes silly it is time to move on.

I thought I would share one of her ideas if you have little ones that we have been doing in our home. I think this will be the 3rd year to do it (last year we missed out as I was birthing Hope). Basically she has a recipe to make a play doh mountain and bake it...this mountain also has a space carved out to be the cave or tomb where Jesus is laid. Then you have pipe cleaner people to be the different people in the Holy Week story. On your own go through the scripture and assign different parts of the story to different days of the week. On Saturday nothing happens...no part of the story...it is a waiting...and then on Easter morning your Jesus pipe cleaner guy (gotta love it) gets to be standing on top on your play doh mountain arms raised in victory and then hearing your little ones see it for the first time and hearing their exclamations of him being alive is just wonderful.

I'm not saying to do this necessarily...but this is an "Especially" holiday...the whole crux of our relationship with our Lord is based on his death AND resurrection! I can't wait for Sunday to roll around and our week be set apart as something special.

I was also thinking that I wished there were songs that were more than something Sandy Patty sang that were for Easter(now don't get me wrong I love me some Sandy Patty and Larnell Harris duets...but...)so I was thinking about busting out some Christmas Carols with my kids this week and talking about how if Jesus hadn't been born then we wouldn't have cause for Easter...I mean think about some of the lyrics and then apply it to the night of his death as well...

So reader...find your kind of especially moment with your children this season....

"O Holy Night. The stars are brightly shining, it is the night of our dear Saviors birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pining. Til he appeared and the soul felt its worth. A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn! Fall on your knees! O hear the angel voices! O night divine! O night when Christ was born! O night divine! O night, O night divine!"

Can you imagine the night He died...the angel voices...the grief...and then a thrill of hope for a weary world when yonder breaks a new and glorious morn...you can't help but fall on your knees...O night divine...O night divine!

*pic from Easter last year as I was in the hospital having Hope and Wyatt and Caroline were home with my parents dying Easter Eggs...

It's Still Important

First...a couple of things. If this is your first time to the blog you might want to check out why it is called "A Penny for your Thoughts" and go read the post back in December called "Intentional Time".

Second...for those of you DYING for a potty training update...Wyatt Christopher now tells me when he needs to go...and does so! It's a beautiful thing. He figured out that when he went he got to play "Cars 2" on my phone. Now...we have had to instigate a 3 second pee rule in order for him to get to pee b/c one time he went in there and literally willed 3 drops to come out...he thought he had me...oh no...the 3 second pee rule came in to play.

Now for today's post....

I am a people pleaser. This is not new news to me. I like people to be proud of me. Never disappointed. To think my choices or decisions are wise etc. This however has sometimes affected my decisions...especially if there is opposition. I have tended to voice my difference but in the end usually side with or go with the other option more out of not wanting to disappoint rather than it necessarily being the best choice.

We were presented with a decision recently where this came in to play...it has been freeing for me. Jason and I were trying to decide something that really had no right or wrong answer. But he differed in what he thought. The situation wasn't important to him like it was to me. I actually sought council on the decision, I prayed about it...I didn't want to disappoint him or others involved. What I came to realize while I was journaling was this (this is where it became a game changer for me and I hope I remember this FOREVER)...

Just because it isn't important to him doesn't mean it has to be less important to me.

Let me type that again so you don't have to re read....

Just because it isn't important to him doesn't mean it has to be less important to me.

So freeing to know that yes sometimes you have to acquiesce to the others desire...however even if you do that your opinion doesn't have to necessarily lessen. It is okay that it is still important to you.

So reader...I chose something that wasn't necessarily a "right" answer...but an important one for our family, for me. It's freeing.

A Child's Prayers

I love listening to a child pray. The rambling, honest, repetitive, blunt, graphic prayers of a child. A friend reminded me of one of Caroline's prayers from a couple of years ago that I thought I would share.

So...let's set the scene. Caroline must be about 2 1/2-3 and just beginning to want to pray out loud. Most of the practice with that comes at meal time. So it's dinner and we asked Caroline if she would like to bless the food. She does. It's precious...not sure the food was actually blessed! HA! Then, we take about two bites, and she would like to pray again. So, she does. We stop - hold hands - bow heads and listen to her precious prayer. This must go on for about 2-3 more times...we don't want to squelch the desire to pray...but we have to eat at some point right?

Well...Caroline asks if she can pray one more time. I told her of course, but Mommy and Daddy were going to keep eating and she could keep praying as long as she wanted to. This is basically the prayer that followed...mind you this is like prayer #5 or #6

"Dear Jesus bless my bottom. Bless Mommy's bottom. Bless Daddy's penis, and bless Wyatt's penis."

This is where the spit take would have happened if this were being filmed or performed live on stage! But of course Jason and I don't want to laugh because we don't want her to think that we are laughing at her or her prayers. I mean isn't that just the best prayer EVER! Oh my goodness. Jason and I were just dying. We looked at each other and were like..."Did she just say what I think she said? Did she just bless your loins!" HA!

I guess two more children later...she did!

Enjoy your little ones ramblings. I am reminded in their string on prayers that they just talk to the Lord. Nothing is contrived...no thought is thought out before it is said...they truly say what they are thankful for even if they are thankful for the wall (as Wyatt says often)...Oh Lord...fill my mouth with string on prayers that express my true thankfulness for my world and surroundings...and Lord...thanks for blessing my bottom and Jason's penis. HA!

*a pic of Caroline at about 2 1/2 years old

Catching Your Kids Doing Good

Hi! I am pregnant! Yikes!

Okay that is out of my system for a moment I am sure.

I have noticed that most often I am catching my kids messing up. Right?! I mean we are teaching and coaching and training all throughout the day of things to change and work on. Hopefully, throughout each day we are also finding opportunities to praise our kids. I would love to thing praising happens more than critiquing...but I'm not so sure.

So we have two tools that we use in our home that have helped with discipline and rewards. They are called the "IF-THEN Chart" and "The Blessing Chart" found at www.doorposts.com. The "IF-THEN Chart" has been awesome on the discipline front to help with the consistency factor. You know how when you are in the throws of coaching/training/discipline it is easy to give in, or forget what that current punishment was going to be. This hangs on our fridge and has served as a great reminder to the behavior that is expected. Now that I think about it, I probably need to get back on the wagon and be more consistent with some of these if I truly want to see change in behavior.

But the reason for today's post is about "The Blessing Chart"...this is catching your kids doing GREAT things! Showing cheerfulness, thankfulness, peacemaking, truthfulness, obedience, submissive to authority, honoring, pleasant words, wise speech, kindness, gentleness, mercy, diligence, giving and sharing....so with each of these, like the if-then chart there is a verse that goes with it and then a space for you to decide what the reward will be. Caroline has gotten this reward a handful of times. I might catch her helping a sibling without me asking. Or maybe she cleans her room all by herself without me asking...etc. She has gotten "blessings" like an ice cream cone w/ daddy, and getting to stay up late and watch one extra show. This goes over like gang busters! What is so fun too is that they don't get a blessing every time they show this action, so it is a surprise. Sometimes Caroline will ask for a blessing chart reward and then that is a fun conversation about not asking for a blessing, but just receiving it when it comes.

I had been aware that sweet Wyatt hadn't gotten ANY blessing chart rewards yet. I wasn't even sure he was aware of them. I feel like most of the time I am working with him on his gentle touch with his baby sister Hope...yikes she is NOT a toddler! Well, one day I witnessed him on his own pushing Hope in the outside swing gently!!! Amazing! He was acting like the big brother we have been talking about. I shared with Jason when he got home and said that I thought we ought to do a blessing chart with him. Soooo, after we did stories, songs, and prayers I got to tell Wyatt that Daddy and I wanted to bless him that night. We had observed him choosing to act kindly and gently to his sister when he was pushing her in the swing and that meant that he was going to get to leave his light on and read books or play with a few toys in his bed for 30 extra minutes. I wish I could have captured his sweet smile creep across his face...or actually know what the wheels turning around in his brain were communicating long term to his heart! This was a huge hit with him.

The verse that is at the top of the blessing chart is this. "But to him who sows righteousness will be a sure reward. Proverbs 11:18" What a GREAT thing to teach our children. Plus it sure is a practical hands on way to honor our kiddos for doing GOOD things instead of always noticing the bad. I even write it down when I see it b/c inevitably I will forget. This has helped also to go back at the end of the day and as we are tucking kids in we can be specific in the words we leave them with at night of good things we noticed throughout the day!

So reader...go catch your kids doing GOOD and bless the heck out of them!

*pic of Wyatt pretending to be Jake from "Jake and the Neverland Pirates"

A Welcome Surprise

In an earlier post called "Big Rocks" I mentioned that Jason and I had spent some time deciding on what our "big" things were going to be for the year. There was a handful of things on that list...health/nutrition, family vacation, individual time w/ each child, etc. One of them was for us to be praying about whether or not we thought a 4th child was in our future. The Lord answered that one for us....I am pregnant! Woah! Probably due sometime in November.

I think if you had asked me I would have said that yes I thought there was another child in our future...but...ummm a little further apart. Regardless we are thrilled.

Every other time we have found out Jason was with me, so this was the first time I took a pregnancy test with out Jason at home. I had to keep it to myself ALL day! Well, I told Hope, I figured she wouldn't tell anyone. Ha! Jason and I actually had a date night already on the calendar so that worked out great. I picked him up from work and we drove the restaurant. I had called ahead to get a little help telling Jason. I had asked that when we order our appetizer and they bring it out if they would bring me a bowl of ice cream with pickles on top. They did. I started eating the ice cream. Jason looked at me and said, "Did you order that? I don't see that on the menu." As he was looking at the menu I pulled out the rock from our "Big Rocks" labeled "4th Child ??" and the pregnancy test. I handed those to him and he said "Oh my goodness you are pregnant. I am so excited."

It was awesome! We then called our parents, siblings and friends...then the social media...We think we might as well tell people right off the bat so they could be praying. See...with me being Type 1 Diabetic it is a bit of a challenge to do the pregnancy thing. That said...my doctors say that I am in excellent health and they would advise me differently if they felt I shouldn't have any more children. This is not the case.

Sooo I have already made the phone calls to doctors to begin the process that I go through managing my diabetes while carrying a baby. Our prayer here moving forward is for endurance, self-control (with food), and overall health and development for the baby. It is critical in this first trimester for excellent blood sugar control. Poor management usually results in birth defects for the baby...everything from limb development, to heart, etc. First trimester with a diabetic is a big deal. We would covet your prayers too.

So that's the big scoop for today. On a parting note this is how it went this morning telling Wyatt and Caroline. At breakfast we said guys we have some exciting news to tell you. It's really great. Can you guys what it is? Caroline just smiled and looked at us. Wyatt said, "Another baby!" I love how the Holy Spirit readies their hearts. That has then led us on name discussions through out the day. If you can imagine most of them revolve around some name from Cars 2! Hilarious. Oh this ride we are on! It delights my heart!

The Education - Part II

I am nervous. A bit apprehensive to share. Why, oh why do I care what you think? Human nature. I ponder at you all who really are able to not care what others think. I want people to like me, to agree with me, to think we are wise in our decisions...but honestly it doesn't matter what you think does it? This decision is between Jason, me, and the Lord.

If you are joining in recently you might want to read the first part of this post from January titled - "The Education" to get some perspective.

We have toured. We have prayed. We have discussed. We have sought advice. I have cried. I have heard opinions from those close to us, and not...

In the previous post I asked for prayer that Jason and I would be like minded in our decision. We are. What JOY that truly brings me. To make a significant decision like this with your spouse to have wrestled with one another...argued...cried...debated...prayed...yet ultimately to end up like minded is such a beautiful thing. I think it can be a rare thing. Reader...when you find yourself wanting it YOUR way, I believe it will be painful. When you want a decision driven by the "us" of your marriage it is peaceful - beautiful - easy.

Caroline will be going to our public school down the street! Sawnee Elementary! We are thrilled. When we went and looked at the school an immediate peace came over us. We met several teachers. Not kidding, every staff member we encountered stopped in the hall, smiled, greeted us...that is rare I think in ANY work environment. Impressive. There were several things that stuck out to us...but overall there was a peace upon us both as we were there. This was the right fit for OUR family.

I have been nervous to say anything because...I think there is a part of me that thinks some of you will think less of me/us for not home schooling. I have been such an advocate of home schooling the past 3 years...I honestly can hardly believe how excited I am about our family decision. I'm not saying we never will...but for next year...we will be in public education.

After deciding this a couple of weeks ago I find myself crying even more (if that is possible)...the untying in this relationship with your children - however appropriate is still difficult. As I was making her lunch last week I began to tear up thinking about NOT eating lunch with her every day. There are a handful of days where we haven't had lunch together...most of them involve me in the hospital birthing another child. Ha! Then at dinner one night she asks about the lunch room at Sawnee. She says that if she doesn't want to eat what they are serving can I just make a lunch for her and send it with her. I tell her yes, of course. I then explain it will be things like sandwiches etc. She then tells me that I could just make the mac-n-cheese and bring it up there to school. - Insert me beginning to cry, trying to mask it - I then explain to her that that isn't really how it works. Tear my heart out!

So. There. It's public. I am not sure if you all really do care where my children go to school...but let me encourage you reader to be open to what the LORD would have for your families...not what YOU would have for them. We will continue to ask Him what He would have for our kids each year...perhaps each semester...but know this...being like minded with Jason trumps any kind of "do it my own way" mentality and just telling Jason this is how we were going to do it. Like that would fly with him anyway.

My take away from this process is how gentle the Lord is in His pruning, leading process. I am so thankful. How is your pruning session going?

*pics from different home school days with our friends over the past 3 years. Everything from puzzles, to story time, to worship...very thankful!