If you are a guy (not sure any of you out there are males reading this) not sure this post is for you. I am going to be pretty honest about some nursing issues and that might not be for you...
I know some of you out there might be new to the whole new born/nursing thing...I hope that my experience might be an encouragement to you. First of all, remember you have to do what is best for you. You know your limit. But also, sometimes you just need a cheerleader to say you can do it, when you don't think you can't. This is what worked for us.
When I had Caroline (our first) I was set and determined to nurse. I knew it would be something to get used to...but I had no idea what I was in for. This became one of the hardest things I had ever done. In the hospital I am all hormonal...I feel like I have this limited time w/ the lactation consultant and I must glean all possible information from her. I have Jason there with me to make sure that I am hearing all the info she has to say. One time my mom and mother-in-law are there...which is fine...but now looking back I should have probably just asked them to leave b/c I felt stressed out trying to learn in front of them...like it wasn't supposed to be that hard. They never made me feel that way...it was this "mother" kind of thing with all of us females in there while I am trying to learn...but it was still weird (funny to see how far I have come now with having had them in the birthing room).
I am trying to figure out how to hold her but still be kind of aggressive and get that dang nipple in her mouth. Then, holy cow, it hurts. She keeps falling asleep...we strip her down to her diaper, get a wet cloth to place on her back and head to try to keep that sleepy girl awake. I just don't think I am getting it...is she getting anything? Well...she is pooping and peeing...she must be getting something.
We leave the hospital. Every three hours I am getting myself in just the right position in this one specific chair in our house. I have the boppy all set up. My mom or Jason would strip her down and bring her to me. I would gear up. I would have a chat with Caroline, sometimes I would pray, I would tell her we are a team and we have to work together to figure this thing out. I put her on...it hurts so bad. My toes are curling in reaction to the pain...tears slide down my cheeks...but I look at this little one and I have to keep going - for 20 min. Then change a diaper and repeat it all on the other side. After I would nurse I then began to pump for 15-20 min...every single time...they said it would help to produce more milk.
A couple of points here...Because we had decided for me to stay home and not work anymore I felt this overwhelming burden to nurse and NOT do formula b/c it is so stinkin' expensive. Jason would tell me all the time it was okay and if we needed to do formula then we needed to do formula...I wouldn't quit. Another thing motivating me was a wonderful role model I had had in my early 20's. I worked at Kanakuk and my boss was Diane Cooper. They were surprised with a 6th child who ended up having Downs Syndrome. I talked to her shortly after he was born and she was telling me that it took 6 weeks to teach him how to nurse, but she just knew if she stuck with it the nutritional benefits alone would benefit him so much. I knew if she could do it with him...surely I could do it with Caroline.
When Caroline would go in for all of those early doc apt to check weight...she wasn't gaining enough. She had jaundice at the beginning too, so I would supplement after I nursed to try to get enough fluids in her...it was consuming...it was all I thought I about. It was hard to convey to Jason how I thought about it. I remember realizing that he would never be stuck in thought on the nutrition of our kids and how much they were eating. Much like I am never consumed with our finances...never will be...and I am sure he wishes I was.
I cried a lot in the beginning. Nursing was just so hard. The lactation line at the hospital is programmed into my phone. I almost called them daily...asking questions...not sure why it still hurt so badly...2 weeks later it still was crippling the pain. The bleeding, chapped nipples were wow...painful. Caroline was still so little.
Finally, after 4 weeks in one of my phone conversations with the lactation consultant she just said that she thought I ought to come in and have another session with them in person. Sadly, this wouldn't be covered by insurance...Jason smart as he is knew this would be worth it for my sanity...so I set up the apt. As soon as she got C on...I lit up...I looked at her and said "This doesn't hurt. Is this how it is supposed to feel?" Now that felt right...that felt natural. I couldn't believe it. She also gave me one of those shields...I didn't know about those. I could just put it over the nipple and use that to allow that one side to heal (the skin had come off in one spot and had left an exposed sore)...that changed the game. After about a month of using the shield I slowly stopped using it. Nursing was working.
It took 4 weeks to figure out.
I wish I had gone sooner to talk in person. I just thought I could figure it out...that this was how it was supposed to be. I will say though that the Lord taught me some awesome lessons about provision during this time. He bonded Caroline and I in a special way. I was able to nurse for 10 months at which point she quit. Each baby has gotten much easier.
For me...it was worth the fight to figure it out. Know that for some of us out there...it is hard...it takes some figuring out...if you find your self in the midst of trying to nurse...ask questions - lots of them. Take the time. It is so worth it in the end. I hope this has been an encouragement to you.
I know women have been nursing since the beginning of time. I have to say that I am very thankful for the lactation consultants at our hospital...they rock! They are providing a service that us young moms would be crazed with out! Thank you lactation ladies! My babies thank you too!
*pics with Caroline in the hospital...almost 5 years ago!
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