Letting her Go

This summer has been a summer of wrestling with sending Caroline back to school or not.  Hear me out.  We have loved her experience at our local public school.  Her kindergarten teacher was awesome. She made great new friends.  She learned a ton.  But once she got home for the summer...I couldn't stand to send her back.
If you remember it was a total God thing that we decided to not homeschool at all.  Check out these posts in case you haven't read them: "The Education"; "The Education - Part II"; "It's Coming - The Education".  You will really hear my heart with how we got to public education for our family.  So to feel this summer like maybe we needed to review sending her back for 1st grade caught me off guard.
As I began to analyze it...pray about it...I didn't feel like we were to pull her, but rather that I was just acknowledging that I WANTED her home.  That I LIKED having her here.  I LOVE watching her interact w/ her siblings all day.  I began to think through this thought...maybe you have too...that I have a small window of influence with my children.  Let me clarify...my parents still have influence..however, I am not naive to believe that there won't be a time when my kiddos will prefer the influence of others OVER the influence of Jason and I.  So, I am sitting here this summer thinking, "Caroline wants to be home.  She would love for us to tell her she is homeschooling.  She actually wants my influence right now.  Am I loosing an opportunity for influence with her."
I shared this thought w/ Karen Stubbs (dear mentor and founder of Birds on a Wire www.birdsonawiremoms.com) and her immediate response was this.  "Allison you are expanding your influence." *This caught me off guard, and the tears began to well up.  "Caroline is going to go into her class and be a light.  That will be noticed by other kids and moms.  They will ask you about her, and you will have an opportunity to share about the Lord."  Oh my!  A wonderful reminder.  That is exactly why Jason and I felt like we were to do public school in the first place.  We felt the Lord was calling us specifically (I am not saying this what all should do -but for us) to use the public school system as a ministry opportunity.  To invest...to invite...that He would enlarge our territory.

So my dear Caroline Dale trotted off to First Grade yesterday!  She was so brave.  She was so nervous. As she climbed out of the car I snapped a photo of her walking into school.  I whispered a prayer out the window.  "Whisper to her heart Lord that you are with her.  She is so nervous."  Later yesterday she told me didn't have time to miss me because she just had so much fun.  Thank you Jesus.  This morning as I dropped her off again for day two...I was fine until she turned around and came back for one more kiss.  I cried as I drove away.  I prayed "Whisper to both our hearts Lord."  He has.   It has been a good day with my other two munchkins...watching Wyatt be a big brother...he is getting so much better at it!  Hope going on the potty!  But my big girl comes home in 15 min.  I have been watching the clock all day.  Loving our opportunity for influence expanding...loving my influencer coming home!