First Time Obedience...Really?

I have been thinking about this concept of first time obedience for a long time.  I have been using it as I parent.  Knowing in my mind that I expect my children to obey the first time mommy asks something.  The answer is to be "Yes ma'am."  Action should follow.  This is the dream, right?  I think about my goal in wanting this desired behavior.  When I have thought about it in the past it has been because I want to teach my children ultimately about submission to authority...that of Christ.  I pray that that trickles down and they are able to show submission and respect to a boss, a teacher, us...but ultimately by teaching my child this...I hope it is to Christ.

Have you ever taken a step back and looked at yourself as a parent.  Then thought about what does the Lord see as he watches you parent.  What does He think as He parents us? So I did this.  And I wonder if the Lord has shown something to my heart about this concept.

In nature this concept is great.  I think it helps make a sound home.  But what I found that was actually in practice was this.  I would ask a child to do something (like pick up toys).  Wouldn't happen, they were distracted.  I am at the sink doing dishes so am calling across the room...don't really have their attention.  I ask again.  "Caroline, Wyatt do you hear my words?"  "Yes ma'am."  Still not action.  I finally go over (as I should have the first time) and get their eyes, ask again, lay out the consequence or shall I say threat of what will happen, ask again, and finally there is action.

I have wondered is it okay that once the threat of punishment is reminded to my kids they typically jump into action.  Is this okay?  I mean, don't I want them to act without me having to threaten punishment.

....but then I had a moment with the Lord one morning while exercising.  Often times I ask you Allison for action.  You are distracted.  You hear my voice in the background.  You think I probably should address that...and yet still you sit...unmoved by my request.  I call a bit louder and you begin to process maybe taking action, but that would take effort, or pain, or conflict....so I come and get your eyes on mine, remind you of the consequence of your actions of lack there of...you process...and you come.  Oh sweet girl.  I would love first time obedience out of you as well.  It is not your nature.  I am thankful however that you can process through.  Even if it is the threat of the consequence that drives you to obedience...and not just out of respect for me that you come...the point is that you still come.  I love you.


And that my dear readers is my new eyes open thoughts on first time obedience.  I think as adults we process through everything that our kids process through.  And, if we are honest it is the threat of the consequence that often times drives us to obedience, or making a wise choice.

So.  Keep expecting obedience.  Keep asking.  Keep following through on punishments...but allow the process to happen.  I don't want a robot.  I want a child who can process through what is happening.  Think it all the way through to the outcome...and make a choice.  Hopefully it is a wise one.