The Ministry I Didn't Want

I have had this idea ringing throughout a good deal of my thoughts the last several weeks, well months actually.  When the Lord asks something of you...what is your response?  A "well maybe"..."let's see if something else more fun comes along"...anger...thrill...perhaps it depends on what He is asking huh?

I mean...asking me to marry Jason.  Heck yes!  Thrilled.

Finding out I had diabetes...I was angry.  Yet...there is a purpose there...with my doctors.  To hear them comment on my approach, my joy...He is using me there.

It's about our response to His question isn't it.  It's about what we do with where He already is...does that make sense?  He is working in and around us regardless of our participation...wouldn't it be glorious to actually join him...even in the pain.

See I have come to this thought as so many people are commenting that the words in this blog have been an encouragement.  That it is challenging them...that it is...ministering.  When I heard those words from some close and not so close friends...I paused.  See - I don't want this ministry.  I don't want to know what it is like to loose two babies in a year.  What it feels like.  What anguishing sobs feel like.  I don't.  But...I do.  It isn't all about ME.

The Lord is about redemption.  About drawing us in.  About healing that broken spot.  About letting joy flood the desert.  And then, when we do that...allow the pain and the healing and then allowing others witness it...I believe He is glorified.  I believe that He is honored.  He is shall I even say delighted.

I didn't and still don't want a ministry like this.  Yet...I am not sure the Lord asked me. Ha.  In fact I am pretty sure He didn't.  But he is at work in someone's heart reading this.  To heal the broken.  To mend that which man can not.  

I hear story after story from our broken world.  Opportunities for the Lord to use us to help be His hands and feet...to minister to those around us.  I wonder what their, our responses would be.

The marriage that is ending...adultery...laziness...I have watched friends of mine go through this and now on the other side have a "ministry" to others going through the same thing.  They didn't ask for that kind of ministry.  Yet they have it.

My friend struggling through infertility right now.  I hate it for her - her husband.  I hate the agony it is brining her.  There is a ministry there.  Whether she wants it or not.

My friend who's 2nd of 3 children was just diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes.  Not something she would have chosen...yet in even just these few short days I hear her rejoicing that it isn't something worse, and having a thankfulness that she is so organized so she can keep all their needs met.  He will use her.

I am still in the midst of grief.  It hasn't finished it's mark on me yet.  A new borns cry will catch me off guard in the grocery store.  I will graze my stomach doing something and the emptiness will overwhelm me.  Yet.  Yet.  It is possible to cry and be filled with a purpose, with a joy, and it is truly indescribable.    Somehow, He has allowed my pain to draw me into Him thereby...I hope drawing someone else to Him also.

So reader I ask this.  What is the ministry that the Lord might have right there at your feet.  Will your anguish, or joy thrust you into caring for those around you there by glorifying the Lord.  In the uncertainty of your swinging life...will joy fill your face?