First of all let me apologize for the lack of writing. I usually accomplish this task during naps in the afternoon...but as of late I am exhausted with this pregnancy already and am using this time to snooze a bit myself. I also want you to know dear reader that I won't write unless there is something to write about. At the beginning of this process I thought I would try to write 4ish times a week...I am amazed at those "bloggers" who actually have something to say daily. I won't write unless I think it helpful...the Lord lays something on my heart...or Wyatt does something hilarious! Ha!
So for today's post.
There is a new sheriff in town folks. We have been experiencing some of that 3 year old anger, not getting your way, want it my way, angst in this house. It seemed to start little...thought we could "talk" about it...mention the alternative if he didn't change the behavior and then move forward. It wasn't working. You know it seems like it just sneaks up on me sometimes. I will think I have a handle on something...we are moving forward...then I realize...Oh crap! My child is really struggling in the midst of their humanness...sinful nature. Fast forward in my brain 10 years and this is a holy terror of a teen ager who is yelling the "B" word at me as he slams his door.
Now that might seem a bit extreme...but what does anger/temper tantrum look like on a 13 year old? I don't know...don't want to know...thankful for my imagination to serve as a motivator to nip this in the bud (it is bud right?...not butt?).
I have known for a few days something had to give. Then when we got home from small group last night and our sweet sitter gave us the run down...his 4 times on the floor crying over what seems nothing was unacceptable...the kicking...no sir. So Jason and I pow wowed together (this is key reader...I often think I can do this alone I can think of the punishment alone...but including your spouse if you are able is huge...you are both on the same page and I can let the child involved know that we are both on the same page and we decided this together) and came up with the punishment.
I made a specific effort to make sure I was up, prayed, journaled, and felt "covered" for what I was anticipating could be a very difficult day with the new sheriff that is. After breakfast I told Wyatt that we needed to have a conversation and he needed to come with me to the stairs. He was so very compliant. We sat on the stairs and I asked him about his night with the sitter. He told me about it honestly. I asked him if he thought that behavior was acceptable. He said no. I told him that daddy and I had decided he would loose the privilege of watching a show tonight and tomorrow and he would be getting spanks for his behavior last night. Then I explained to him that I made a mistake for not handling this sooner and letting this go on too long until it seemed it was out of control. I apologized for not taking care of it sooner and told him that from here on out, there would be no stomping of his foot, kicking, yelling "But Mommy", or "No Mommy" any kind of disrespect it would be an immediate spank. If he lost it just because something didn't go his way with a sibling or whatever the anger would need to be taken to his room to be dealt with there. I asked if he understood. Had him repeat it to me. Then spanked him for last night.
Then here's the crucial part. I throw my arms around him immediately and begin smothering him with kisses and I love you's! This is one of the things I remember most from my mom's discipline...the I Love You's. Hopefully he will too.
So I am happy to report there have only been two more trips to the stairs and on a few occasions when he realized he had self control he would look at me and say in his precious voice, "Mommy, I didn't kick or stomp this time!" We celebrated and high fived!
Kids love boundaries. He is actually thriving today in a different kind of way than I have seen in awhile with him. He can be angry...just not disrespectful in his anger.
This takes time. Lots of time. Which honestly is a lovely thing about getting to be a stay at home mom...I have LOTS of time with them. What are you spending your time on with your children dear reader. Sometimes I find myself spending time with them...but not "ON" them...It is my job to ready them for the world. If this is left unchecked in my son he will be a horrible employee...horrible husband and father...that isn't acceptable to me.
Another prayer this morning was that I would also be able to catch him in several ways to praise him today. That has happened. Thanks Lord for meeting the Hodges crew where we are at today...filling the gaps...shining through.
Take the time. Their future will thank you.
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