Today with a lump in my throat I am reminded why my interest in my kids is so very strong, firm, focused, and passionate. I have been called to this. I think when you believe in something you are working on or toward or for...you become focused...you zero in on what is important and what is not. The Lord has entrusted three children to our care, I must focus.
Go back with me to a night when I was a teenager...let's just say it wasn't one of my finer moments. With passion comes great emotion and when that isn't properly expressed it is turbulent. My family was playing some kind of game around the table...(let me insert here that I am highly competitive as well) I think I got all in a tizzy about either not winning or I was kind of being made fun of by my brother - I don't remember the initial details but I do know something sent me over the edge emotionally. When this happens (sadly even as an adult) it sends me down a path of extremes. "Fine I will never listen to music again." "Fine, I will never leave the house again." "Fine I will never ...." This night wasn't too different. I just remember ending up in a heap on our stairs crying because I wasn't as smart as my brother. How would I ever earn enough money to support myself as an adult. I was so different from him. I thought I was to be in ministry somewhere and that would surely never support me...I remember thinking my parents must be more excited about Darren than me (a lie straight from the pit...they had never said anything to even elude to this). After I quieted down my mom gently began to tell me that they loved me for me. That who cares if Darren and I end up in different places earning different amounts of money. They only cared that I love and server the Lord in whatever I did. God had asked them to first raise Darren. Then God asked them to raise Allison. Two totally separate human beings. He asked them to be a good steward of Darren and then Allison.
Until that point I had never even thought about that concept. That perhaps Darren and I were supposed to be totally different. Mom said the only reason we were siblings is because God thought it best that Dave and Carolyn Unruh raise us both.
I think of this today, with a lump in my throat, as I thank my savior for the awesome task before Jason and I. He has asked us to be parents to Caroline. Then Wyatt. They Hope. To raise them individually. Yet, having them in the same home will allow them to learn some things about team work, negotiations, compromise etc that they couldn't learn else where...
I think of this today as I watch a co-worker of Jason's love on their 3rd daughter just born this past Monday with Trisomy 13. The father just posted to fb that they were trying their best to honor, support and love her the best they could.
Isn't that it? To honor, support and love our children the best that we can.
My interests are my husband. My 3 kids. Loving my God. Laughing hard. Loving to the depth of my core...living in a way that is honoring to the Lord. I am called to be a good steward of these three lives...help me Lord when the hours feel long. Help me Lord when the hours feel short. Jesus help!
*side note I will probably not be able to write until after the holidays as I am going back to Kansas. Merry Christmas!
No comments:
Post a Comment