Change is Hard

I do not like change that I haven't created. Does that make sense? For instance...I like to make lists. I like to cross things off my list. If I do something during the day that isn't on my list I like to add it and then cross it off! I am pretty sure this is a sickness of some kind. Again, mom would say it goes back to the way I was potty trained-Ha! If I decide something in the "order" of my day needs to change then I am cool with it b/c I am the one changing it...however, if Jason changes it that totally throws me for a loop. I usually have to think it through-give me a couple minutes-is what I say to Jason, and then I can change. I wish I was more flexible. Nothing rattles Jason. It seems. He just goes w/ it. His "list" is always changing and he is so okay with that. I am thankful we are different from one another...we balance each other.
I was thinking about this today as I was watching Hope. She will be 8 months on Wednesday...amazing. She has two teeth, is crawling pretty good, and has just pulled up in her crib two times in the last couple of days. Yet as I watch her she just gets so mad sometimes at the changes surrounding her. She will yell,almost growl...she is expressing what I wish I still could. I have learned not to growl at Jason. Most days! Ha! Back to Hope...she gets so frustrated with not feeling like she can do the new thing...then she gets up the courage to crawl, or pull up and the joy I see on her face is priceless. She just needed that little ummmfff to do it.
Perhaps I can remember that when the Lord is asking for a change in me. I feel that kind of angst as well. When there is a change that I notice needs to happen, I think I am okay with that. But when I feel the Holy Spirit impressing something on my heart that needs to change...I just want to growl. Oh Lord, let me see change as a good thing. Let me be like clay instead of an immoveable stone. Give me joy in the process. Give me a heart that moves. I think for my children to see the balance of managing your day your tasks, but being willing for change in the midst of it will serve them well in their lives, their marriages...the peace I think Christ intended for our hearts. Help me to be moveable Lord! Amen.