I mentioned that from time to time I might post about how I go about doing stuff...like the post a few days ago...babies, babies, babies - all about schedules and sleep training and the 3 resources that I have used a ton w/ our babies. I hope this info is just that information...again remember this is just how we do it - not the only way.
So yesterday I started Independent Playtime w/ Hope. Honestly it has gone great the last two days. Basically this is a plan to help teach her how to play by herself. I did it w/ Caroline and Wyatt and I am so very thankful b/c even though they love playing with one another they really are great at playing by themselves also. I am so very thankful that my girl friend taught me about this before Caroline was born.
Basically, I have the pack-n-play set up in a room that is still on the same level as the rest of us, but where she can't easily see me working in the kitchen. I have several age appropriate toys in there that will rotate w/ other toys maybe once a week. In the morning when she is alert like after breakfast and her clothes have been changed for the day I place her in there, tell her to have fun playing and walk away. I then set the timer for 15 min and don't go in there at all. The first day she cried the last 3 min but she wasn't hysterical or hurt or anything like that, and today there was maybe a moment of fussing towards the end. I will gradually increase the time - perhaps up to 30 min for her to learn about some structured alone play time. I am hopeful that I can use this time even into next fall as we are thinking about home schooling and that would give me at least 30 min w/ Hope occupied. I am only 2 days in but it seems like Hope is adjusting to this easier than the other two. With Caroline I waited until she was about 10 months old to start and it was very difficult for her. She cried a good portion of the time in there and I only did it for about 10 min. I think that is directly related to waiting so late to begin to teach her this life skill. Wouldn't you agree that this really is a life skill?
This concept is talked about in "Growing Kids God's Way" in the Preparation for Toddler Years book. These are the basic why's behind doing it and doing it in a playpen.
1. It provides a safe environment
2. It offers a structured learning center
a. mental focusing skills
b. sustained attention span
c. creativity
d. self-play adeptness
e. orderliness
It is also important that this be roughly at the same time each day. This is a great quote from the book, that is honestly a wonderful reminder about my other two as well.
"As a word of encouragement, children of all ages have a love/hate relationship with boundaries. They hate boundaries simply because they are there, yet love them because of the security they provide. That is true with the playpen. If your child does not appear to like it at first, stay with it, and he will end up loving the playpen later on."
I don't necessarily like boundaries sometimes either...or maybe I don't like setting them up and explaining them - but once they are there I feel safe and more independent. Isn't that interesting...that with boundaries a sense of independence follows. A good reminder Allison...(talking to myself now)...boundaries are good, perhaps hard to establish, but worth the freedom it provides.
Be encouraged reader...whoever you are...you too can establish healthy boundaries for your kids and yourself. Remember you are doing a good work and you can not come down from it!
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