The Perversion of Excellence

This is a blog I wrote almost 4 years ago about how I struggle w/ perfectionism. I thought it a good thing to revisit here. Sadly, I still struggle with it...perhaps that is why the Lord says he will "carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." I get to work on this stuff my whole life...but isn't it so good to know that He has the patience to teach me over and over about this stuff. Oh that I had the same patience w/ my children as they need to learn things over and over. I have edited the post a bit to fit for today.

So a pretty heavy title for this blog site...but I needed a place to share what the Lord has taught me this week and I think, or wonder perhaps if it might speak to some other mom's out there too..so here goes.

This week I came face to face with an "old friend" perfectionism again. I really struggle with this, and often become quite defensive when my life doesn't seem perfect. Those closest to me I am sure notice. I have known for awhile that my defensive nature and struggle w/ perfectionism would be dealt w/ from the Lord. So, this week it hit me. Perfectionism is the perversion of excellence. My mom and I have talked several times that any good and perfect thing from the Father, Satan has a perversion to counter it. And I believe the drive to be perfect is the perversion of what the Father would ask of me to be excellent.

The more I thought about this the more I realized that while working in KidStuf I told the team on Sunday's that I wanted an excellent show, not a perfect one. I wanted a show that glorified the Lord and if it wasn't "perfect" I was okay, b/c I knew it was excellent. However, as I thought the other day, I do not apply that same principle at home. If dinner wasn't as flavorful as it could be then I would beat myself up, if Caroline struggled during the day I would beat myself up, if I hadn't vacuumed yet this week, again...I would beat myself up b/c it wasn't "perfect"....oh how I have believed the lie.

I opened my eyes the other morning and saw a clean home, a child who is joyful and on a good schedule, a great marriage, laundry done, and a home cooked meal on the stove...I have an excellent home. No longer will I believe the perversion....
The main thing here is that Christ is the only perfect thing, so to try to strive for that will only leave me in a chronic state of worthlessness...

I have an excellent marriage, child, home...

Thank you Lord for the freedom in this lesson....