Before I was married...in what felt like those long single years...I had lots of time. Sometimes I hated how much time I had to myself. I longed for it to be taken up with children, and home responsibilities, and schedules. One thing that I was so very thankful for all the time for was my time alone with the Lord. It was a precious season those post-college/pre-marriage years. I am realizing it was 7 years of long moments with Him.
I woke up early enough to spend on average about an hour studying, then exercise, then getting ready. I think I woke up almost 3 hours before I had to leave for work. Gosh if I woke up 3 hours before "work" began now that would be 4am...yikes. Anyway, that study time allowed for me to do those intense studies. They were emotional, they were thought provoking, they made me scratch my head and have to reread paragraphs (especially when I was reading John Piper)...I had the time and luxury to do so. Those were precious stolen moments of study and journaling and prayer. I am forever grateful. I think those 7 years were a time of preparation for what lay ahead. It was a training ground.
Once I got married it immediately changed. I don't know why exactly but it did. And now with 3 little ones, those early morning moments still happen but not by the hour any more...sometimes just by the breath before I walk into their rooms in the morning to get them up. I hope for more time in the am...but sometimes that doesn't happen. It has been a mental don't judge yourself conversation that I have had with myself over the last almost 5 years since we had our first child...it's okay that the depth and breadth of time are not the same...I am thankful the Lord knows my heart, and knows me and I Him.
One helpful thing that my mom told me about that she used to do as a young mom was using the different areas around the house as prayer subjects...her prayer life really took off as a young mom (don't I know it!) no - for real...for instance...while ironing my dad's shirts she would use that time to pray for my dad - his business dealings -safety etc. When she was doing dishes that is when she would pray for______(maybe that missionary they were supporting), when she folded laundry she would pray for ______(maybe each person as she was folding their clothes her prayers would fall for that person specifically). This has been really helpful. I know my mother in law as assigned certain days to certain subjects...like Monday: prays for all children and their spouses and children, Tuesday: prays for political authorities (President, Congress, ...on down to local gov't), Wednesday: prays for teachers/coaches of her children (back when they were little) etc etc etc. These are just suggestions. All of this to say, that two women that I really respect (my mom and mother in law) b/c of their walks with the Lord found that that relationship with the Lord looked different as a young mom than it did at other times in their lives. I am so very thankful to know that. It has helped me not beat myself up.
Currently I am reading a little daily devotional called "Jesus Calling". It is AWESOME! Then I try to journal some thoughts about what I am struggling with or hoping for. I love the mornings when Caroline comes down at literally 7:01 am (they aren't allowed out of their rooms before 7am) and finds me finishing my journal and she climbs up in my lap and listens to me pray for my day. I love her hearing that.
So moms...be encouraged to know that our Lord loves us right where we are at. He longs for time with us. He knows that sometimes that is just a breath before we begin our day with our little ones. However, when I remember that that breath continues all day long... I am reminded that He too is with me all day long. I can converse with him as I go about my day. Sometimes the prayer is just "Jesus Help!" And he does. So take a breath. Ask Him to help. And know that if I do my job well I will actually work myself out of a job someday and have lots of time to spend in deep study. But until that day I think I will breathe.
*the pictures are from Hope's baby dedication back in November
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