The Classifieds

Okay so another little nugget of learning about Allison. I think it is important to be able to laugh at oneself...or at least to tell a story in a way that others for sure can laugh at you. This dear reader I hope does just that.

I think I have mentioned in previous posts that I am a bit naive. That...I just have never seen the perverted side of things. Honestly, I am thankful for this quality. I am thankful that I think people are generally good, honest, loyal etc...this has also been the cause for some heartbreak over the years...but in general I am thankful that I see the world the way I do.

It is the summer before my freshman year of college. Mom and dad have said that it is time for me to find that ever coveted summer job. Uggghh! Really...a summer job? Ok...I think about what I like/love to do and think surely can't there be a job that I can do for the summer that I would like/love? Mom suggests that I look in the classifieds. No problem.

Now with my background in theater and dance I am of course drawn to anything with any kind of performing background. I begin to scan the paper...there it is...the perfect job it reads "Dancer wanted". Perfect. I call in to my mom and say there is a place looking for a dancer. Mom thinks it surely has to be divine (again remember the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree). She says to call. I do.
Me: Hello, yes sir I just saw your add in the paper looking for a dancer. I have a long resume of dance experience and would love to talk to you about auditioning.
Man: Yeah you got a problem going topless?
Me: Excuse me?
Man: Yeah topless.
Me: Ummm yes sir I have a problem going topless.
(we hang up)
Mom you won't believe it. He wanted to know if I would go topless.
(Both of us extremely horrified at the events that have just taken place. I pick the paper up and begin looking again.)

Me: Oh mom, here's another ad saying "Dancer wanted". I think I will call.

Now...let's pause here. Most of you would say that you detected the kind of establishment before the first phone call. Many of you would say that you sure as heck could determine what kind of place it was going to be the 2nd time around especially after the first phone call. Not me. No sir. I call the second one.

Me: Yes sir I see your ad looking for a dancer and I wanted to ask you...
Man: Yeah you got a problem going topless?
Me: Yes sir, yes sir I do.

And there you have it. My quest for a summer job in Kansas City. Wow! Who knew dancers were in such high demand. Who knew, there would be a dupe like me to not figure it out at least before the 2nd phone call.

I guess the beautiful thing here is that I didn't go down there to apply in person! Yikes can you imagine? I hope you have enjoyed a little laugh, or a big one for that matter. And remember, if the ad says "Dancer Wanted" it is not for a Macaroni Grill kind of place but with dancing instead of singing...no...no it's not at all.