Personalities

Last night I was at Birds on a Wire! So thankful for Karen Stubbs and her ministry to young moms!

We were talking/learning about the 4 different personality types. There is a great book called "Personality Plus" that talks about all of this in more detail, but basically...

Sanguine - inventive, imaginative, cheerful, innocent, charming, fun-loving, energized by people, impulsive, dramatic, they want affirmation, approval, affection, and acceptance

Choleric - they see a goal and go after it, move very quickly, competitive, leaders/assertive, self confident, trust worthy, they can make you question your competence as a mom, make their own rules...they want control

Melancholy - thinkers, creative, musicians, organized, quiet, high standards for themselves and others, sensitive to others, good students, sweet spirits, literal, they need sensitivity, support, space and silence

Phlegmatic - easy going, dependable, loveable, hide their emotions, pleasers, will be a leader if they are pushed, look for easy way to do things - can be lazy, like to sleep, stubborn and strong willed, always give them options, and push out of their comfort zone

So what Karen was saying is that it is so important for us to know what we are ourselves, what our spouse is, and then what our kids are. This will make parenting clearer. Also...remembering that all 4 of these are created by God. None of them are "better" than the other.

Being a choleric/sanguine myself it is hard to not think my way is the only way. No, I have little ones who very well are the other personality types and they won't respond necessarily to my choleric view points...esp if I end up w a phlegmatic.

As a child I honestly didn't think I was being disrespectful to my parents. I wasn't trying to be...I just literally thought I knew a better way to do things.

This goes back to Wyatt's potty training too (read The Humor in Potty Training post if you want a good laugh)...he is my sanguine...he needed the act of going to the potty to be a blast...to be hilarious...

I am thankful for the reminder last night that it is my job to figure my kids out. To look at their personalities as gifts from the Lord...they will need shaping, they will need guidance - but if I expect them to learn about life the way I did...that is misguided. I need to make sure I am giving space where it is needed. I am offering up that attention and affection where needed. And I am giving a little push out the door where needed...

This is also so key in looking at my relationship with Jason. He is phlegmatic/sanguine...my choleric and his phlegmatic sides will conflict but when I remember he too is created in the image of God this helps to diffuse my need for control...my need to set the pace and the schedule. I am so thankful Jason is different from me. I am so thankful there is a balance there. A balance I didn't know I needed.

So reader, figure out yourself, spouse and kids. Then as you realize what it is they are I think it will enable us to be more intentional in how we parent. This job is not for the faint of heart. You are doing a good work and you can not come down from it!

*pics are of Hope sporting her new hair style, Wyatt at his Mimi's 60th bday party, and Caroline in a tent at home! Enjoy.