Thursday, February 2, 2012
Guest Blogger - Help?!!
Okay so I am not sure this has been done much before or ever...not that I am really that cutting edge folks. Here's my thought. My parents just arrived last night from Kansas for a little visit w/ the Georgia contingency of our family! I love it. Wyatt has been wearing the coon skin hat they gave him all over the place today...so very fun. Caroline hasn't left my mom's side for very long at all. It's good to have the parentals in town.
I often refer to things my mom has said or taught me on this blog. I thought what a fun thing to have a little guest blogger to all you readers out there. Now, I don't know if you are a mom w/ little ones, single, divorced, stay-at-home, working mom, a guy...whichever I thought a little wisdom from my mom might be great.
Never done this before...let's try it out.
Thinking back to your years with little ones is there anything you wish you would have done more of or less of?
Remembered. Written. Pictured. Remembered.
In the thick of it all, you think you will never forget. But....you will. Period. I thought I'd never forget those fabulous moments that brought tears, those moments that struck terror, those that found us all rolling on the floor with laughter. I thought I'd never forget the pivotal moments of development...but, I did. I thought I'd never forget the precious word combinations or the unusual questions....but for the most part, I did forget.
You have the most wonderful tools available now for logging the words, pictures, and thoughts of parenting. I urge you to do this. You think you'll remember...but you won't.
I wish I'd have done even more praying and Bible reading with my children. Though prayer and the Bible seemed to surround every bit our our home's flurry, I wonder if Darren and Allison ever actually learned to use the scriptures to pray the power of our Faith while they were children. I am deeply thankful for all the other people who poured into their spiritual hearts as they grew to adulthood.
I'm genuinely thankful that I determined to pray purposeful prayers for their health in different ways. I'd pray for health spiritually, intellectually, physically, and emotionally. There was always more I could've done to share with them the power and peace they experienced because of these prayers.
We always took vacations. Not because we could afford luxury...but, because we knew our parenting had to be experiential. Lots of camping....lots of road miles......lots of hotdogs. Didn't matter......lots of the kind of family heart-and-mind-joining that only comes when the TV is off.....the phone doesn't ring.....and focus is on the people you value most. I'm thankful to my core that we vacationed each year.
I prayed for their life mates from the moment I learned I was pregnant. Teri and Jason are the perfect mates for Darren and Allison. Now, I pray for the mates of my grandchildren. Can't wait to see who the Lord brings to complete His purposes.
We laughed..alot. I thought picnics during winter, food fights, wearing your clothes wrong side out, learning to swim in a pond, and crazy surprises that didn't cost money were essential. I loved getting in the van and letting Darren and Allison call the journey's path.....turn right..turn left....go straight....back up! All in the simple attempt to get to Stilwell Grocery for some ice-cream-on-a-stick!
We raised and buried lots of pets. Tis a good thing to plan a funeral for a pet. A good and lasting thing.
We caroled to our neighbors and offered homemade Christmas gifts each year. Blizzard or not. We sang. I'm glad.
I had very cheap stems for them to use at the china-laden table. It was very important to me that they learn to drink from stemmed glasses, fold a cloth napkin in their lap, serve their plates, carry on dinner-time conversations, and sit in place until the meal was actually over. Sunday dinner is a tradition we continue to this day. It is in this setting that they learn their family traditions, ancestry, and legacy.
I'd save clothing that was special, and be turning it into a quilt for them now. Didn't do much of that. Though it is good to look back and evaluate the job completed (with some wished for 'what could've been' moments), I can honestly say that I did my best. And, that is all any parent actually can hope for......doing the best you can at the moment.....and praying you don't screw up your kids! Darren and Allison live lives reflecting their love of their Lord. That's quite sufficient.
It was very important for my children to see me fulfilled in adult things....not only in my role raising them. They watched me sing concerts, make records, travel, run an in-home business, write children's musicals, direct the children in performing arts programs at church, do Bible studies, create and direct thriving theater camps and audition troupes, and.......have friends.
Are there things in that season with little ones that you wish you and daddy would have done differently or the same for your relationship?
Easy......we rarely had a date outside our Bible Study meetings or church choir practice. We found things that we wanted to do together, but we never made convicted time for just the two of us to date. We have a great marriage and God has honored our intentional living......but, it would have been smart to have some date nights more regularly than the annual anniversary. It was hard because we just flat loved being a family so much......Dave and I always felt very complete when we were all together as a family. We weren't those parents who found our children annoying or fatiguing. Quite the opposite. We were energized by them......so, most of the time we were together as a family unless we were with our Bible Study/Choir friends. Forty-four and 1/2 years later......doesn't seem to have taken a toll. We are still devoted to our family.......but, are learning better the balance of dating (which is kinda fun in your late 60's!!)
Open forum mom...(this could be scary folks) what would you like to say to the readers?
"Be anxious for nothing; but, in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God. And, the peace of God which passes all understanding will keep your heart and mind through Jesus Christ, our Lord." Phil. 4:6-9
Let this scripture penetrate......Pray it....Memorize it.....Let the Holy Spirit do It's work inside you. When your heart is broken, He will keep it. When your mind is racing with worry, He will keep it. Worry and broken hearts are always offered to parents. Resist. Let Him keep you.
Several years ago the Lord spoke to my heart a truth that has become a way of life for me. I am done with worry. Period. I am done with the hammering reminders of a broken heart. Period. Though I intend to let Him teach me afresh when worry and brokenness are my lot in life, I will NOT be absorbed by them. I will, instead, be absorbed by Him. His word to me that August several years ago:
"Guard well your worry. It is rather more a thief than a counselor."
True. Foundationally true. Develop the discipline to resist worry. Don't allow it to run amuk in your mind and heart. Let Him keep you. Let Him keep your heart. Let Him keep your mind. This life pattern will shape your parenting, your relationships, your peace. Learn it early. Abide in Him.
Staying in Him will be the hardest work of your life while the battle rages for you to accommodate worry and your broken heart. Stay the course. Do not let worry and brokenness win. Pray this scripture.....meditate on this scripture.....let it have it's full work in you.
*pic is from my wedding day w/ mom and dad
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