Treasuring Things Up

You know how in the bible in Luke 2:19 it says, "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." I was overcome today trying to figure out how to make my heart do this.

I see something happen in or with my kids and it's like I am memorizing for an exam all over again...I repeat what was just said, or stare a little longer at the situation, or actually speak out loud "Don't forget this" trying to impress on my heart and mind the need to never forget this specific "thing." Then I got a bit sad...because I know I will forget.

Then my prayer turned to, "Lord let me be ever present not looking back wishing I had more time in a specific season with my children. Let me be good where I am at."

I wonder if that's what it means to treasure things up in your heart. It doesn't say mind. I wonder if treasuring in my heart means that I allow my children to impress on my heart in such a way that it transforms me...that what the Lord teaches me through them will permanently be fixed in my heart...that it will change me.

I have to come to grips that I will forget the nuances of their baby laugh...their toothless grin...their need to show me every boo boo...the first time they say my name...all the lunch conversations...all the snuggling...the flashlights under sheets...blanket tents...the glance in the back of the car and your eyes meet and you just know you love one another...oh my heart...

I have said before that from the time they are born the "letting go" process begins. It is my job to work myself out of a job. This is hard. It sometimes feels like it could very well break my heart instead of shape it...that the expansion I go through every time I have a child (not my size - ha, but my heart) just might very well cause it to explode.

Oh Lord...today...I want you to teach me about treasuring these things up in my heart. Not so much that I feel the pressure to remember all of the nuances...but that I feel the pressure to learn what you want to teach me through my children so my heart might change.

Thank you for this most awesome gift.

*pic of my three babes and me! Sigh.